Year of the tiger-lilly

After giving another girl some advice on a problem she was having, I realized that I was culpable of the very thing she was complaining about. She claims her boyfriend just wouldn’t shut up about a girl he claims he WAS madly deeply in love with. After a similar situation in 2,9 year relationship with an ex who later claimed to have “never been in love” with me, I told her  kick him to the curb.

Let me extrapolate. My ex told me off the bat that he’s in love with this girl. He met this girl when he was five and fell in love with her from the moment she said “Hi, my name is D.” He approached her later in his teen years, but she rejected him. I thought “that’s okay, he hasn’t seen her in years now and she rejected him. I’m going to be a better girlfriend than this girl could ever be.”

• First Mistake: Trying to compete with a fantasy
• Second Mistake: Thinking a guy is over the girl after she rejects him
• Third Mistake: Falling for a guy who has betrothed his heart to another at age 5

Like I said after being with me for almost 3 years he tells me he loved me because I loved him and that he was never “in love” with me. *grumble grumble*

Fine! After a lot of other sh** he put me through what with all his emotional/psychological/financial problems , I just feel so angry. Mind you , this didn’t happen the day we broke up. Gradually as we spoke after the break-up more and more did I realize he was just using me as a therapist/bank. I’m just glad he had the common decency to pay me back [almost] every penny he owed me, which, trust me, was a pretty penny.

However, this is what I’m talking about – a lot. My ex!

I’m just so hurt by what he did I just feel like venting all the time, and I’m sad to say my BF is the one who bears the brunt of most of my continuous gal-spewing about my ex. I just hope he doesn’t think I’m going to leave him to go back to my ex — not even to save humanity — or ,like the girl on the forum, get justifiably upset/ jealous.

Siblings are the people we practice on, the people who teach us about fairness and cooperation and kindness and caring – quite often the hard way.  ~Pamela Dugdale

I’ve finally found a moment in which I can blog about this even though it’s a topic 18 years in the making: my sister. My sister is 6 years my junior and growing up no one has caused me so much grief, pain and despair as my little sister has. The above mentioned quote proved to be especially true when I decided it was time for me to put an end to my sister’s abuse.

Abuse seems like such a large dirty word, but it’s actually easy to label my little sister as abusive. Her main tool was character assassination. Every single action that could be perceived as poor judgement, immature, disobedient on my behalf or would otherwise trigger disappointment or disapproval from my parents was relayed by her to my mother. So, for the better part of my childhood I was seen as the problem child. At the age of eighteen, I remember my mother and I having a heated argument about something and I told her in no uncertain words, that if she thought I was such a problem she would learn who my sister truly was once I’d have left the household. Prophetic words my mother now tells me sent chills down her spine and now ring true with her since my little sister now uses her as the metaphoric punching-bag.

In the 6 years after I’ve moved out, nothing had changed. My sister was still being disrespectful to my parents, ungrateful for anything anyone does for her and had a short temper that would put Naomi Campbell to shame. Only this time I had an outsider witness this, my BF, who was so impressed — not in a good way — he actually blogged about it on his weblog. Mind you my sister is only this way with first-degree family members, meaning my mother, father and I are the only ones who truly get to fully appreciate the venomous personality my sister has. To all others my sister is Mother Theresa incarnate.

I’d decided I had enough. I was sick of having an eighteen-year-old beat me and my mother up emotionally. So, I posted a long, respectful but clear status on Facebook – she would otherwise walk away from me mid-conversation – noting no names, but making clear to whom it may concern:

• I will not tolerate this kind of behavior, because I’m too old for this bullsh*t
• I think your selfish, unkind and ungrateful
• I will not speak to, nor help you in any shape or form till an apology has been given

Those are the Cliff’s Notes. She responded on my Facebook by telling me to come to her room, where she preceded to apologize and cry. I told her I would give her any help she needed but the second she f*cks up I’m back to treating her as non-existent and will continue doing so forever.

 This was 15 days ago. She still continues being of no help whatsoever to my mom, but her mood has dramatically improved and she’s been putting in an observable effort in being more pleasant to me and my parents. Let’s hope she keeps it up.

I know whenever I’m feeling lost, feeling lonely, feeling blue I turn to… Mr. Deity. His guidance is… non-existant, his infinate wisdom is… well, also non-existant, his love for us… well, you’re beginning to see a patern I hope. What I do know is that HE exists, and that working on our personal relationship through his webshow has helped me get to know him in a way I could never get to know another human being. Here’s Mr. Deity once again in his infinate deitiness — if that’s even a word — to explain to us all the female menstrual cycle:

If you’ve enjoyed this YouTube clip check out Mr. Deity I and Mr. Deity II. If really enjoyed this clip visit Mr. Deity and start working on your personal relationship with him today!

Thank you, for your comments on Vacation: Week 1. I like the feeling of having an audience to interact with, it makes it less so that I’m just writing for my own pleasure and entertainment.

Week 2 has passed and has still been a sunny 33 degrees here on my beautiful home island. I’m actually going to miss the searing debilitating heat once I get back to Holland. Holland, where summer doesn’t necessarily mean summer dresses, BBQ and beach parties — I actually saw a photo of my mother-in-law back in Holland wearing a jacket (brr).

Okay, back to the quick summery of the past 7 days. So, I’ve completely made a 180 since, my menstrual meltdown (I heart over-sharing). Since my last blog BF and I went on a tour of the island, rented a jet ski, watched Prince of Persia and Iron Man 2. My dad knew “a guy” so the tour was free, but what they say is not true, the best things in life aren’t free. I’m not going to “look a given horse in the mouth”, but I was slightly disappointed by how little the tour guide could actually tell us about the monuments and sights we were visiting. Mind you, this was probably not a professional, I’m sure that there are many other tours which are more extensive and provide more information. We also went to a Folkloric Festival. You could buy a plate of authentic Aruban food for just 6,50 dollars and entrance was only 3 dollars. So I guess some people just showed up for the cheap dinner, because many people got up and left before the show was over. It could have also been because the entertainment was slightly repetitive, amateurish and chaotic. Gosh, have I become so critical because I’ve lived in Holland? I don’t know. Somehow, almost everything I used to love about this island disappoints me.

Moving on to something that’s really exciting: BF and I are going  to start a web-shop. We’re both confident we have a good idea, and until we’ve really worked out everything and have all our ducks in a row I’m going to have to keep it under wraps. We’ve been so busy working it out that we haven’t really done much vacationy — if that’s even a word — things. However, BF is here for another week, so I’ll make sure that it’s not all work and more play. Will keep you guys up to date.

Please check out BF’s blog. He won’t let me add him in the tags.

Blogging to you from a sunny island in the Caribbean. It is currently 33 degrees celcius, with hardly a cloud in the sky and a cooling North-Eastern breeze. I’m here to recap my vacation so far. I’m joined by Stomweblog, who is currently in the shower and cannot bother me at this time. My original intention was to give you a day by day recap of our vacation so far, but BF doesn’t shower THAT long, so I’ll give a brief summary:

We started off our vacation of course by going to the beach. Yes folks, BF and I were more than happy to make good on the yellow ‘tourist’ bands the hotel tagged us with and go to the beach to then come back to the hotel and lounge about by the pool. The hotel was happy to oblige us by charging us 7,- USD a drink, and so BF and I decided that we were not as touristy – if that’s even a real word — as the hotel makes us out to be and we stocked up on alcohol by going to our local, yet still expensive, supermarket.

So far we we’ve been to the Lighthouse, climbed the Hooiberg, swam at Baby Beach/ Boca Grandi and Eagle Beach, took a Sunset Cruise and dined at Coco Plum/ Plaza Café and Yami Yami. Everything was going according to plan until I got my period and BF got an ear infection. So, today I was kind of annoyed with the fact I actually grew up here. If I wasn’t a native, I wouldn’t feel partly responsible for BF’s “FunFactor”, which was at an all time low today; BF and I both couldn’t swim today and we didn’t plan any other activities. So, today we didn’t do much. Thank god my dad’s taking us out to dinner today, or else BF would’ve considered today a total waste. Later,we’re going for a ”walk”, which makes me feel like a dog that needs to be taken out every so many hours so I can do my ‘business’. I don’t mind staying in today and I’m perfectly happy doing absolutely nothing for one day. It’s our last day at the hotel anyway, there are 10 more days in which we can do “stuff” and be “active” and “get away from my parents” — last one actually needs no quotation, we will actually want to do that.

Not to end this blog on a menstrual rant; We ARE having fun and the Sunset Cruise was actually the highlight so far – being tipsy in front of my dad made me feel real grown-up, hihi. I know that we both have more to look forward to as this vacation progresses, we both need to get over our ailments so we can be the young care free couple we were when we landed.

PS

BF and I both bought matching rings    Update with pic of rings will follow.

PPS

Yes, I know the menstrual cycle is not an ailment, but can I for a moment not be the the staunch feminist praising the monthly contracting of my uterus as a blessing?

Yes folks, I’m back with the dubious blog titles and sporadic posts!

If you’re still checking in on the website, thanks for hanging in there with me. I just wanted to update you on a couple of things that have been keeping me busy this past week:

• A button popped off my jacket, and no, it wasn’t a button on the tummy area. I just got irrefutable proof that my boobs got bigger.
• A co-worker was more concerned about BF and I moving into a house that hasn’t been cleaned from top to bottom, than being happy for us getting the keys to the house.
• A couple who can move together — and not kill each other — can make the relationship work. Oh, the moments in which I could almost strangle BF… the finish line is almost in sight.
• BF agreed to getting a kitten!!

There are many things I look forward to in the near future: the vacation, the roller-blades and the kitten. We’re getting a kitten. Did I mention that we’re getting a kitten? You could probably tell I’m excited, if not; I’m excited! I’m just worried about Hammy. I hope she doesn’t get so stressed by the kitten that she dies prematurely…

If I haven’t conveyed this to you earlier: we got the house! Not just “the buyer accepted our offer” but “the suits agreed to give us the money needed to pay for the house”. Everything has come through and we are going to get the keys to the house next week Wednesday. So right now we’re getting ready to move.

Okay, maybe it’s not literally moving mountains, but after falling ill this past weekend, recovering Wednesday, and spending the last two days prepping for the move it’s starting to feel like it. I’m really looking forward to next week Sunday evening, after all the moving is done, the mother-in-laws are gone and sleeping in on Pentecost Monday.

So, please accept my apologies for slacking off on my blogging duties.

Now, I don’t usually gossip especially since the walls have ears where I work. So, today I was one of the last people on the floor together with another guy — the same guy I used to flirt with: Playing the Game – and we started speaking frankly. The conversation turned to the females of the office. Now, I’m no stranger to “guy talk” seeing as most guys usually consider me ‘one of the guys’,  but this conversation still caught me off guard.

Basically, almost no one met his requirements. Every girl who didn’t spend copious amount of time in front of the mirror doing her hair/make-up and wore the latest fashion was just not interesting to him . Let’s not forget he also wants a girl with big boobs, so the “pretty” girls in the office didn’t score a perfect ten for that reason. To get back to the other girls who “fell short”, they were not only not his type, no, they were also gross. He imagined that the girls’ underwear were yellow with caked on body fluids or he’d imagine that they didn’t shower regularly. I wouldn’t know if it’s true or not, but his disapproval took me aback; it wasn’t just disapproval his reaction bordered on pure disgust. 

He’s not bad looking. He’s allowed to have some requirements, but goodness gracious, I went from liking him (as a person) to being completely turned off. He and the other guys of the office extensively discuss who they would or wouldn’t “do”, not a shocker, but the fact that he told me how he felt about most females in the office… I just felt awkward knowing a large group of men in in the office talk about the females amongst themselves and maybe in the same fashion this guy did.

I try not to get into the whole lumping men into groups, so I’ll just say that this guy was a complete let down. He was so disrespectful! There was no need to put down the women the way that he did. I guess I shouldn’t complain he’s not my boyfriend. Thank god!

It’s my first award! I haven’t been blogging for more than 4 months and I’ve already won an award! Well, actually I was nominated by Stomweblog, which makes this nomination slightly biased.

Now, I’m allowed to pass along the award to bloggers who I think to deserve it. These are the rules for passing along the Sunshine Award:

1. You must place the logo of the award in your article/ blog
2. Link back to the person who nominated you
3. Nominate as many bloggers as you like
4. Link to the nominated bloggers in your article/ blog
5. Let the nominees know they’ve been nominated by posting a comment on their blog

And now the drum roll for my nominees:

• Elocutio: Her blog is awesomeness; Games, Products, Music & More
• Live My Life Better: Because she’s a procrastinator just like me
• Sweet Cardigan: For important things like figuring out your Drunk Friend Level

I hope you enjoy reading these blogs as much as I do

I don’t know what’s happened to me but it’s gone from bad to worst. I was never the type to enjoy a nice bloody horror movie, but the occasional action flick was never really a problem. Lately, I can’t even get through a suspenseful scene in an action film let alone watch a horror movie. BF rented SawVI; he couldn’t get past the first 5 min, I probably wouldn’t get past the menu.

BF rented The Hurt Locker this weekend, it was supposed to be our “watch it together film”, well that didn’t turn out to be the case. I couldn’t care less that it won 6 academy awards, I’d have to sit through 2 hours of watching people getting blown up; no, thank you. I kissed BF goodbye and sat behind my PC and played Sims3. You’re probably thinking to yourself: “well you knew about the *boom* before you rented the DVD, didn’t you?” Well, I thought to myself: “I’ve got The Soloist, so let BF have something he’ll enjoy.”

*sigh* I’m not quite sure how I’m going to get over this scaredy-cat complex, but I feel it’s limiting me in the movies that I can watch and if a couch potato like me can’t even enjoy movies anymore, what reason do I have left to live? [/dramaqueen]